현대사회에서의 성공적인 입양의 요건은 무엇인가?

Significant factors that will help adoption to be a successful experlence for the adoptive parents in a modern society

입양아동은 그의 타고난 유전적인 체계를 지닌 채 입양부모의 자녀가 된다. 따라서 입양부모가 입양사실을 숨기고 마치 입양아를 출산한 것처럼 행동한다면, 이것은 입양이 됨과 동시에 입양아의 입양 이전의 과거를 부인하며 단절시키는 것이 된다. 이렇게 과거가 단절된 상태에서는, 입양아는 한 개인으로서의 정체감을 확립하기가 어렵게 된다. 즉, 입양아동 자신의 유전적인 근원(orgin)과 뿌리(roots)에 대해 알고자 하는 욕구는 존재적인 욕구로서 반드시 충족되어져야만이 자신의 정체감 확립과 더불어 입양부모와 애정에 기초한 기능적인 부모자녀관계를 형성할 수 있게 된다는 것이다. 입양아동의 친생부모에 대한 호기심이나 궁금증은 그의 뿌리에 대해 알고 싶어하는 기본적인 욕구이며, 이것은 자유롭게 반복되어져서 입양부모와 함께 얘기되어져야만이 성취될 수 있다. 따라서 입양부모는 성공적인 입양을 위해서 입양아의 입양이전의 과거를 수용하고 인정하여 입양아의 친생부모와 입양상황 등에 대해서 공개적으로 입양아와 얘기할 수 있어야 한다는 것이다.

An adoptee(adopted child) has two sets of family systems; One he/she inherits from his birth parents when he was born. The other in that he/she gets into when he was adopted with his adoptive parents. When a person is cut off from the past, not knowing where he was rooted and where he is on the generational continuity and connectedness, he is to have difficult time in formulating a sense of identity and high self-esteem for himself. And unfortunately, this is exactly what happens to the adopted child when his/her adoptive parents try to keep his adoption secret to him, denying him his right to know about his genetic roots and blood line. Most of Korean adoptive parents, more than 90 percent of whom are infertile, keep their adoption secret to their adopted child. They need to be helped to understand that no matter how hard they try to keep their child’s adoption a secret, it is bound to be known to the adoptee and that this causes him to be confused with his sense of identity, leading to the family problem. Adoptive parents need to understand that their adopted child’s wish to know about his roots is existential and essential as a human being and that such need of his is completely separate from his love and loyalty for them, his adoptive parents. In order to meet this need of the adoptee, adoptive parents should be able to talk freely about matters concerning the adoption with their adopted child, including discussions about his birth parents. Several adoption disruptions in Korea are presented in this paper, which could be assumed to be mainly caused by this lack of understanding the adoptee’s basic need. The paper also presents several cases of Korean adult adoptees who were adopted abroad as an infant and who now wish to find birth-related relatives in Korea. It also shows a 10-year old Korean-American adoptee’s letter addressed to her Korean birth mother whom she has never met, as an example of successful adoption.