寒微한 士族의 노년기 생활상에 대한 일고찰

Study on Later Life of Poor and Humble Scholars: Centered on Later Life of Mumyeongja Yun Ki andHis Response to Reality

본고에서는 無名子 尹愭의 사례를 통해 ‘한미한 사족’의 노년기 생활상과 정조, 현실 대응의 실제와 배경 등을 고찰했다. 윤기는 늘 질병과 함께했다. 항상 신체의 고통을 호소하였으며 학질 등의 병고에 시달렸고 말년에는 난청 등의 노화 증상으로 심한 고통을 겪었다. ‘노쇠’와 ‘한미한 가문’의 굴레는 出仕 때부터 문제가 되었다. 淸要職으로의 접근이 차단되었기에 微官末職의 고된 업무를 맡아보며 心身의 고통을 감내했다. 그 결과 늘 불만이 가득했다. 빈곤은 출사 이후에도 벗어날 수 없었다. 노년기에 느낀 아쉬움과 후회, 원망과 불평, 자조와 탄식 등의 정조를 진솔하게 시문으로 표출하였다. 不正義한 세상, 不滿의 세월을 살면서도 자아를 굳건히 지켜냈다. 말년까지의 곤궁한 생활은, 강직한 품성과 介潔한 정신의 결과이기도 하다. 윤기는 ‘世家大族의 후손’이라는 자의식을 지니고 ‘한미한 사족’이라는 현실을 수용하면서도 극복을 모색했다. 강직한 성품은 사회관계에서 하나의 장애로 작용했다. 狷者로서 세상과 조화를 이루지 못한 것이다. 그러나 그 정신으로 세속적 이익을 위해 자신의 가치, 자아를 훼멸하지 않았다. 舌禍에 대해서는 예민하여, 50세 즈음부터 發話 욕구와 그 결과인 舌禍를 경계했다. 그리고 오랜 고민과 갈등 끝에 緘口 宣言을 하였다. ‘자존감의 발현’과 ‘가문의 존립’을 위한 절묘한 선택이다. 내면의 자아[心]를 발현하기 위한 욕구는 비판적 저술행위의 강화로 전환되었다. 비판적 글쓰기가 함구의 대안이 되었으며, 이를 통해 현재를 堪當하며 후일을 圖謀한 것이다. 윤기는 번뇌와 갈등, 회환과 자책, 분노와 질타의 정조를 많이 표출하였지만, 자신의 한평생을 긍정적으로 평가하였다. 세상과 타협하지 않고 꼿꼿하게 자아를 지켰다는 자부심 때문이다.

In this study, later lives of ‘poor and humble scholars’, their emotions and their responses to reality are examined with the example of Mumyeongja Yun Ki. Yun Ki suffered from diseases including malaria due to senescence during his later life and to make matters worse, he had to endure severe pain from hearing impairment. The bridle of senescence and being from a poor and humble family was a stumbling block for him from the beginning of becoming a public official. He could not get the Cheong'yo-jik(淸要職) post and he was pained by the hard working as a lowest public official. Consequently, he was discontented. The poverty that molested his ancestors was not alleviated even after he became a public official. He expressed his emotions such as frustration, regret, resentment, grievance, self-deprecation, and moan about his later life in his poems in a straightforward way. He preserved his identity as he led a life filled with grumbles in an unjust world. Until the end of his life, he was destitute, which was also the result of his integrity and honesty. Yun Ki had the sense of identity that he was from the scholar family and strived to overcome the reality of being a poor and humble scholar. His integrity worked as an obstacle for his social relations. He had his principle and beliefs, which were not compatible with the world. However, he did not change his values and identity to gain worldly benefits. He was sensitive to calamity of slander, he continuously took precaution against his desire to speak out and its consequence of calamity of slander since his 50s. Furthermore, he declared to keep silence on matters after the long and careful consideration. It was the great decision to reveal his self-esteem and to preserve his family. The desire to reveal his identity was satisfied by his critical writing. His critical writing became the alternative to keeping silence, through which he faced the bitter reality and planned for the future. Yun Ki, expressed anguish, conflicts in his inner world, remorse, guilty conscience, anger and rebuke a lot but he assessed his life in a positive way. That is because he had self-respect that he did not meet the world halfway but preserved his integrity and identity.