결손된 자기의 회복에 대한 협력적 자문화기술지

Collaborative Auto-ethnography on the Recovery of Defective Self

This study is aiming at figuring out how the defective self caused by the attachment trauma distorts and fragmentizes the identity of an individual and which curative factors contribute to self-recovery. To fulfill this study purpose, memory data, interview data, and autobiographical memoir were collected. The collected data were constantly examined and analyzed in collaboration with co-researchers, main categories were drawn, and the stages of conflict and recovery were described through interpretations about the results and analysis process. The perception of oneself as unacceptable and “terrible and shameful” was actually created by a defense mechanism to cope with the pain resulting from feeling frustration; in this situation the person blamed himself or herself for the frustration and believed doing so is the best thing he or she could do. The absence of a person who can provide comfort and support regarding the loss and pain made him or her feel self-pity, which led to a defective self-perception. It is can be expected that this study will contribute to the process of understanding the dynamic psychological status of people who have difficulty because of attachment trauma caused by the absence of maternal fostering as a secure base.